Kindness and politeness are not overrated at all. They're underused. — Tommy Lee Jones

Kindness and politeness are not overrated at all. They're underused.

Author: Tommy Lee Jones

Insight: We live in an era that treats kindness like a luxury good—something nice to have when circumstances allow, but easily sacrificed when we're tired, rushed, or frustrated. Yet most of us actually experience the opposite problem: we're starved for it. A genuine "thank you" from a cashier, a colleague who remembers your name, someone who listens without planning their response—these small gestures hit differently because they're becoming rare. The sneaky part is that kindness often gets confused with weakness or ineffectiveness. We've internalized the idea that being sharp, direct, or even a little dismissive signals competence, while courtesy signals that we don't have enough going on. But consider how you actually feel around kind people versus rude ones. The kind person isn't less capable; they're often more capable because they've invested in relationships and goodwill. They get things done through cooperation, not friction. The real insight isn't that we need to be nicer in some abstract moral sense. It's that politeness and kindness are practical tools we've collectively abandoned without noticing the cost. They smooth interactions, reduce defensiveness, and make people want to help you. In a world that feels increasingly transactional and tense, that might be the most underrated competitive advantage available.