I spent a lot of money on friends, bought them clothes, holidays, everything. It was stupid but I like people... — Kerry Katona

I spent a lot of money on friends, bought them clothes, holidays, everything. It was stupid but I like people to like me. I'm a pleaser and money pleases everybody, so I was like, 'Hey, have some money.' And then the money's gone.

Author: Kerry Katona

Insight: There's something almost painfully honest about recognizing you've been trying to buy affection, and that realization usually comes only after the money is gone. It's not just about the financial hit—it's the moment you realize that generosity born from insecurity works differently than generosity born from genuine abundance. The people who actually stick around aren't necessarily the ones you impressed with trips and gifts. The pleaser trap is particularly modern because we have so many ways to prove our worth now. You can instantly transfer money, send elaborate gifts, pay for group dinners without letting anyone contribute. It feels like the fastest route to being liked, especially if you're someone who equates being liked with being okay. But there's a peculiar mathematics to it: the more you give to buy belonging, the less certain you become about whether people like you or just your availability. What's tricky is that genuine generosity and insecure generosity can look identical from the outside. The real test isn't whether you give—it's whether you'd still feel worthy of friendship if you had nothing to give. That distinction is worth sitting with, because it separates people who genuinely enjoy your company from people who are simply good at enjoying your resources.