In order to grow ... you must betray their expectations.

The cost of becoming yourself

There's a quiet rebellion in this idea that most of us never quite give ourselves permission to attempt. We spend so much energy managing what people expect of us—the reliable friend, the steady employee, the person who always shows up the same way—that we forget those expectations are basically a cage we agreed to live in. The moment you decide to actually change, to learn something new, to want different things, you're inevitably disappointing someone who liked you better as you were.

What makes this sting is that these aren't bad people wishing us ill. They're people who got comfortable with who we are and built their own plans around that version of us. A parent expects you to follow a certain path. A friend expects you to be their adventure buddy, not the person who needs quiet nights home. Your workplace expects you to stay in your lane. None of that's malicious, but it's also not your job to freeze yourself to keep others comfortable.

The tricky part Miyazaki seems to be pointing at is that growth isn't just about ambition or self-improvement—it's about accepting that becoming who you're actually meant to be will sometimes hurt people around you. Not because you're being reckless, but because you're no longer playing the part they cast you in. That's not betrayal in the cruel sense. It's honest.