To resist change, to try to cling to life, is therefore like holding your breath: if you persist you kill yourself.

Resistance exhausts you faster than change does

Most of us think resistance to change is just stubbornness—a character flaw we can overcome with willpower. But Watts is pointing at something stranger: that resisting change might actually be exhausting us in ways we don't notice. Like holding your breath, it feels protective at first. You're saying no to something scary or unfamiliar. But the longer you maintain that grip, the more energy it drains. Eventually, the resistance itself becomes the problem.

This shows up everywhere. Someone stays in an unhappy job because they're afraid of starting over. A relationship has changed but one person keeps trying to recreate how things used to be. A person refuses to accept that their body works differently now, that their friends have moved on, that the world has shifted. They're not wrong to feel the loss, but the clenching—the refusal to acknowledge reality—is what actually suffocates them.

The counterintuitive part: letting go doesn't mean accepting defeat. It means actually breathing again. It means recognizing what's already changed and working with that reality instead of against it. That's where your actual energy becomes available for something new.