There were instances when I felt cheated because my feeling of social service was neither acknowledged or reci... — Sudha Murty

There were instances when I felt cheated because my feeling of social service was neither acknowledged or reciprocated by the second party. It is with growing age and experience that I realised, I was doing it for myself and not for others. Hence, I found my happiness and satisfaction in it.

Author: Sudha Murty

Insight: Most of us learn early that if we help someone, they should be grateful. We keep a mental ledger. But there's a peculiar frustration that comes when your generosity goes unnoticed or unreturned—when you volunteer your time, offer advice, or show up for someone and they barely acknowledge it. That sting of feeling used or underappreciated is real, and it often makes us question why we even bothered. What shifts this dynamic is realizing something counterintuitive: that the act itself was always the point. When you stop expecting recognition or reciprocation, helping actually becomes simpler. You're not performing for an audience anymore. The satisfaction isn't about being thanked—it's about knowing you showed up, you contributed something, you tried. That's genuinely yours, regardless of what anyone else does or says. This isn't about being selfless in the traditional sense. It's the opposite—it's radically self-interested in the best way. You're doing it because the person you become through helping is someone you like being. The happiness comes from inside the action, not from external validation afterward. Once that clicks, people's indifference stops mattering so much. You've already won.