Accustom yourself continually to make many acts of love, for they enkindle and melt the soul. — Saint Teresa of Avila

Accustom yourself continually to make many acts of love, for they enkindle and melt the soul.

Author: Saint Teresa of Avila

Insight: There's something almost counterintuitive about this idea: that love isn't primarily something you feel first and then express, but something you practice into existence. Teresa isn't talking about waiting until you're flooded with warmth toward someone. She's suggesting you start small—a patient reply to an annoyed text, showing up for someone when you're tired, noticing what matters to someone and remembering it. These tiny acts, repeated, actually rewire how you relate to people. The word "enkindle" matters here. A spark needs fuel and oxygen to become a flame. When you perform acts of love regularly, you're not pretending; you're building the emotional architecture that makes love real. A single kind gesture might feel obligatory, but a pattern of them changes you. Your attention sharpens. You notice people differently. Resentment has less room to settle in. This is why small, consistent kindness is so much more powerful than grand romantic gestures. You can't force yourself to feel deeply through willpower alone, but you can genuinely transform your capacity for it through repetition. The soul doesn't melt from being loved once—it melts from experiencing that you, yourself, are the kind of person who loves repeatedly, often when it's inconvenient.