When I win and when I lose, I take ownership of it, because I really am in charge of what I do.

Stop being a passenger

Most of us spend a lot of energy finding someone or something to blame when things go wrong. The system was rigged. The timing was bad. They didn't believe in me. And sure, external factors always matter—but there's a real cost to waiting for the world to get its act together before we own our choices. What Nicki's getting at here is that the moment you stop negotiating with yourself about responsibility, something shifts. You stop being a passenger in your own life.

This doesn't mean you're responsible for everything that happens to you, only for how you respond to it. That's actually freeing, not constraining. When you lose and you own it, you can actually figure out what went wrong instead of constructing an elaborate excuse. When you win and you own it, you get to feel it—not dilute the victory by crediting luck or other people. The real power move isn't pretending you control everything. It's being honest that within the space where you actually do have agency, you're the one driving.