There are two things people want more than sex and money... recognition and praise. — Mary Kay Ash

There are two things people want more than sex and money... recognition and praise.

Author: Mary Kay Ash

Insight: We spend a lot of mental energy chasing the obvious rewards—the paycheck, the promotion, the tangible wins. But watch what actually moves people, and you'll notice something quieter and more powerful: they light up when someone notices what they did. A parent remembers the teacher who specifically mentioned their child's kindness. A colleague stays loyal to a boss who acknowledges their effort in a meeting. Someone does better work when someone sees the work. This matters because recognition costs almost nothing to give but tends to be the thing we're stingiest with. We assume praise is nice but unnecessary, that people should just be satisfied doing their job or raising their kids or helping a friend. But humans aren't wired that way. We're built to care what others think, to want evidence that our efforts register with someone. It's not vanity exactly—it's closer to confirmation that we matter, that we're not just moving through the world unnoticed. The practical angle: if you want to influence someone, motivate a team, or strengthen a relationship, specific recognition often works better than money or logic. Saying "I noticed you stayed late to finish that project" hits differently than a generic bonus. That gap—between what we think will motivate people and what actually does—explains a lot about why so many relationships and workplaces feel a little cold despite being materially fine.

Source: Mary Kay, p. 64, 1994