Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option. — Mark Twain

Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.

Author: Mark Twain

Insight: We've all been there: canceling plans with ourselves to accommodate someone who probably wouldn't do the same. The asymmetry stings once you notice it. You're checking in, remembering details about their life, rearranging your schedule—while they respond to your texts eventually, when convenient. It's not always deliberate cruelty; sometimes people just take what's freely offered. The real trap isn't recognizing imbalance. It's how we justify staying in it. We tell ourselves they're just busy, or that love means being the reliable one, the patient one. But here's the thing most people miss: prioritizing yourself isn't selfish—it's actually the only way healthy relationships survive. When you treat your own needs like options, you're training others to do the same. You're basically saying your time and feelings have less weight than theirs. This doesn't mean keeping score or abandoning people during hard times. It means knowing the difference between generosity and self-abandonment. Real connections aren't about perfect equality every single day, but they do need a baseline: both people showing up, both people trying. If you're always the one adjusting, it's worth asking whether you're building something or just filling a space someone else found convenient.