How are you complicit in creating the conditions you say you don’t want? — Jerry Colonna

How are you complicit in creating the conditions you say you don’t want?

Author: Jerry Colonna

Insight: We're often quick to blame external forces for the problems we face—the economy, other people, bad luck, the system. But this question cuts deeper: it asks us to notice the small ways we're actually participating in creating the very situations we claim to hate. Maybe you complain about feeling overwhelmed at work while saying yes to every request. Maybe you want closer friendships but spend evenings scrolling alone. Maybe you resent feeling broke while consistently spending on things that don't matter to you. The uncomfortable part isn't that you're a hypocrite—it's that seeing the complicity gives you actual power. You can't change what you won't acknowledge. Once you notice you're part of the equation, you're no longer a helpless victim of circumstances. You can actually do something different tomorrow. This doesn't mean you're entirely responsible for systemic problems or bad outcomes. But it does mean the next move is yours. That's the real insight: the things you can control aren't always the biggest pieces, but they're the only ones worth focusing on.