In essence, you are neither inferior nor superior to anyone. True self-esteem and true humility arise out of t... — Jeffrey R. Holland

In essence, you are neither inferior nor superior to anyone. True self-esteem and true humility arise out of that realization.

Author: Jeffrey R. Holland

Insight: Most of us flip between two extremes without ever landing in the middle. We either feel small—comparing ourselves to someone smarter, prettier, or more successful—or we puff ourselves up to feel less small. Both moves come from the same shaky foundation: the belief that people can actually be ranked, that some humans are worth more than others. The uncomfortable truth is that this ranking system doesn't hold up. You can't measure a person's value the way you measure height. That CEO might be brilliant at spreadsheets but helpless with his own kids. That artist might create beauty but struggle with kindness. You probably know things about human nature that your boss never will. This isn't false comfort—it's just how capability actually works. It's scattered unevenly across all of us. Real self-esteem, then, isn't about being the best. It's about dropping the whole competition. When you stop trying to prove you're better than someone, you also stop needing to prove you're not worse. That's when humility stops feeling like shame and starts feeling like clarity. You're free to work on what matters to you, learn what interests you, and treat people decently—not because you're performing for a scoreboard, but because there was never actually a scoreboard to begin with.

Source: For Times of Trouble, BYU Speeches, 1980

Stop ranking, start living

In essence, you are neither inferior nor superior to anyone. True self-esteem and true humility arise out of that realization.

Jeffrey R. HollandFor Times of Trouble, BYU Speeches, 1980

Most of us flip between two extremes without ever landing in the middle. We either feel small—comparing ourselves to someone smarter, prettier, or more successful—or we puff ourselves up to feel less small. Both moves come from the same shaky foundation: the belief that people can actually be ranked, that some humans are worth more than others.

The uncomfortable truth is that this ranking system doesn't hold up. You can't measure a person's value the way you measure height. That CEO might be brilliant at spreadsheets but helpless with his own kids. That artist might create beauty but struggle with kindness. You probably know things about human nature that your boss never will. This isn't false comfort—it's just how capability actually works. It's scattered unevenly across all of us.

Real self-esteem, then, isn't about being the best. It's about dropping the whole competition. When you stop trying to prove you're better than someone, you also stop needing to prove you're not worse. That's when humility stops feeling like shame and starts feeling like clarity. You're free to work on what matters to you, learn what interests you, and treat people decently—not because you're performing for a scoreboard, but because there was never actually a scoreboard to begin with.

AI generated

Comments

Sign in to leave a comment or reply to one.

Sign in

Jeffrey R. Holland

Jeffrey R. Holland is an American religious leader and educator, known for his service as a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He is recognized for his inspiring speeches, scholarly insights, and dedication to promoting faith in Jesus Christ.

Graph

Related