Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order... — C.S. Lewis

Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.

Author: C.S. Lewis

Insight: The hardest part about moving past something painful isn't usually remembering what happened—it's that we're still gripping it so tightly we can't reach for anything else. We hold onto the hurt because letting go feels like betrayal, like we're saying it didn't matter or shouldn't have happened. But the monkey bars image cuts through that perfectly: you literally cannot advance while your hands are locked on the same bar. The only way forward is to release. This matters today because we live in a culture that often confuses processing pain with preserving it. We can spend years examining what went wrong, talking about it, even finding meaning in it—and still never actually let go. There's a difference between understanding something and being done with it. Sometimes we need to consciously unclench our hands and reach for the next bar, even if we're not entirely sure we can trust it to hold us. The real insight is that letting go isn't about forgetting or minimizing what hurt you. It's about recognizing that your hands are only so big, and keeping them closed around the past literally prevents you from catching whatever comes next. Movement requires release. Always has.