If you aren't humble, whatever empathy you claim is false and probably results from some arrogance or the desi... — Anand Mahindra

If you aren't humble, whatever empathy you claim is false and probably results from some arrogance or the desire to control. But true empathy is rooted in humility and the understanding that there are many people with as much to contribute in life as you.

Author: Anand Mahindra

Insight: We often think empathy means feeling what others feel, but Mahindra points to something trickier: the posture you bring to that feeling matters enormously. Someone can listen intently to your struggles while secretly believing they know better, or that they're somehow above the situation. That's not empathy—it's performance, usually in service of feeling noble or staying in control. Real empathy requires you to genuinely accept that someone else's experience, perspective, and insight might be as valid and valuable as your own. This is harder than it sounds because most of us operate with an unspoken hierarchy in our heads. We listen to certain people more deeply than others. We assume our way is the smarter way. But true humility flips that: it means approaching another person with authentic curiosity rather than a preset conclusion about what they need or how they should think. The practical difference shows up constantly. A humble person asking for advice actually listens. A parent with humility considers their teenager might see something they don't. A boss who's genuinely humble doesn't just hear complaints—they revise their understanding based on them. Without that foundation of humility, empathy becomes just another tool for managing people, which people sense immediately.