Anyone who isn't embarrassed of who they were last year probably isn't learning enough. — Alain de Botton

Anyone who isn't embarrassed of who they were last year probably isn't learning enough.

Author: Alain de Botton

Insight: There's something quietly liberating about looking back at your former self and cringing. It means you've actually changed—you've picked up new ideas, shed bad habits, recognized where you were wrong. That embarrassment is evidence of growth, not failure. But here's what makes this tricky: most of us spend our time either defending who we were or pretending we haven't changed at all. We dig in rather than move on. The real tension is that growth feels uncomfortable in real time. When you're learning something genuine—about relationships, work, politics, yourself—you're usually making mistakes along the way. You're holding half-formed opinions, being defensive, missing obvious points. Then months later, you see it all clearly and feel a little foolish. That moment stings, but it's actually the moment that matters most. It's proof the learning took. The flip side worth considering: endless self-criticism isn't the same as growth. Some people cringe at their past self constantly but never quite move forward. The useful embarrassment is the kind that leads somewhere—that makes you do things differently, not just feel worse. It's the version that says "I see what I was missing" rather than "I'm terrible." That distinction might be the whole point.