If you expect nothing from somebody you are never disappointed. — Sylvia Plath

If you expect nothing from somebody you are never disappointed.

Author: Sylvia Plath

Insight: There's a seductive logic to this idea, especially when you've been hurt before. If you go through life assuming people will let you down, you get to feel vindicated every time they do, and pleasantly surprised on the rare occasions they don't. It feels like a smart defensive strategy—armor against disappointment. But here's what actually happens: this approach doesn't protect you from pain; it just spreads a different kind around. When you stop expecting anything from people, you also stop investing in them, and they feel it. Relationships need a baseline of belief to survive. Your partner notices you've lowered your hopes. Your friend senses you're braced for abandonment. That expectation of nothing becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, not because people are fundamentally disappointing, but because they respond to being treated as though they are. The real tension isn't between expecting too much and expecting nothing. It's between expecting things that are actually reasonable and being willing to be let down anyway. That's harder than either extreme—it requires a kind of emotional courage, staying open while knowing the risk is real. But it's the only way actually close to people, the only way to find out what they're actually capable of.

Source: Sylvia Plath: Journals. p. 175, 1982