When something I can’t control happens, I ask myself: Where is the hidden gift? Where is the positive in this? — Sara Blakely

When something I can’t control happens, I ask myself: Where is the hidden gift? Where is the positive in this?

Author: Sara Blakely

Insight: Most of us do the opposite when life throws us a curveball. We spiral into frustration, replaying what went wrong, wishing we'd made different choices. But there's something almost radical about Blakely's instinct to ask: what's actually useful here? Not in a toxic positivity way—not pretending the thing doesn't suck. More like: given that this already happened, what can I extract from it? The hidden gift question works because it shifts you from victim mode into investigator mode. A rejected job application stings, but it might reveal that you don't actually want that career path. A canceled trip is disappointing, but suddenly you have unscheduled time that leads somewhere unexpected. A conflict with a friend clarifies what you actually need from them. None of this makes the initial frustration disappear, but it reframes where your energy goes next. The tricky part is timing. You probably can't ask this question while you're still in shock. But once the initial sting passes, that simple reframing—where's the hidden gift?—can mean the difference between feeling trapped by circumstances and feeling like you're still somehow in the game.