Be the adult in a world of emotional children. — Ryan Holiday

Be the adult in a world of emotional children.

Author: Ryan Holiday

Insight: Most of us spend a lot of energy reacting to what other people do or say—someone cuts us off in traffic, a colleague takes credit for our idea, a friend cancels plans last minute. Our instinct is to match their energy: get angry back, complain about them, hold a grudge. But Holiday is pointing at something quieter and harder: the choice to respond instead of react. Being "the adult" doesn't mean being cold or superior. It means recognizing that other people's moods, provocations, and poor choices don't have to become your own. When someone lashes out, you can acknowledge their frustration without taking the bait. When someone is manipulative or petty, you can set a boundary without becoming petty yourself. This sounds simple but it's genuinely difficult because it requires you to feel your emotion—the anger, the hurt, the humiliation—and then choose what you do with it. The strange part is that this approach doesn't make you a pushover. It actually gives you more power. You're not at the mercy of whoever yelled loudest or acted most offended. You get to decide what your principles are and stick to them, which is the only real kind of strength there is.

Source: Ego is the Enemy, p. 120, 2016