Do your own thinking independently. Be the chess player, not the chess piece.

Stop following other people's scripts

Most of us like to think we're independent thinkers, but we're surprisingly comfortable being moved around by other people's agendas. We follow career paths because they seem safe, adopt opinions because they sound smart when someone else says them, or make decisions based on what we imagine others expect. It's easier than the actual work of figuring out what we believe and want. Being a chess piece feels natural—someone else handles the strategy, and you just follow the script.

But there's a real difference between someone who makes choices and someone who just reacts to circumstances. The chess player studies the board, considers possibilities, and plans moves with their own goals in mind. They might listen to advice, but they're asking critical questions and testing ideas against their own judgment. That independence doesn't mean ignoring everyone else—it means not outsourcing your thinking to them.

The tricky part is that independent thinking requires more energy than just going along. It means tolerating uncertainty, being willing to be wrong, and sometimes standing alone on a decision. But the alternative is waking up five years later and realizing you've been playing someone else's game. That awareness alone—knowing you have a choice about whether to think for yourself—often changes which path people choose.