I just wish I could understand my father. — Michael Jackson

I just wish I could understand my father.

Author: Michael Jackson

Insight: We spend so much energy trying to decode the people closest to us, especially our parents. There's this particular loneliness in it—standing right next to someone and feeling like you're looking at them through glass. Michael Jackson's simple wish carries the weight of a lifetime of trying to bridge that gap, of wanting to know what drives someone, what wounds them, what makes them tick. It's one of the most human longings there is. The thing about this wish is that it rarely goes away, even when we become parents ourselves. We might understand our fathers a little better with time and distance, through adult eyes. But often there's still something mysterious, some combination of their choices and silences and the era they grew up in that stays just out of reach. And maybe that's partly the point—people are complicated, contradictory, shaped by forces we'll never fully see. Understanding doesn't always mean complete clarity. Sometimes it means accepting that you can love someone and still find them bewildering, and that's not a failure on your part. What makes Jackson's statement resonate isn't that it's unusual. It's that most of us recognize it immediately. If you're lucky, you get glimpses into who your father really was. If you're not, you're left piecing together a person from fragments.

Source: The Michael Jackson Interview: Oprah Reflects. Interview with Oprah, www.oprah.com. February 10, 1993