If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude.

Stop complaining or change yourself

Most of us spend energy complaining about things we actually can't control—traffic, other people's opinions, the weather, our boss's mood. What's useful about this Maya Angelou idea isn't that it's cheerful or motivational. It's that it cuts through that waste by forcing a real choice: either do something concrete, or shift how you're relating to the problem.

The tricky part is that people often know which category their frustration falls into but won't admit it. You can't change your commute length, but you're still furious about it every morning. You can't make your family less critical, but you're still collecting evidence of their unfairness. In those moments, the choice isn't actually between success and failure—it's between acceptance and resentment. And resentment, when you're stuck, is just suffering you're choosing to extend.

The non-obvious part: changing your attitude isn't about faking positivity or pretending something doesn't bother you. It means genuinely deciding the thing matters less to your actual life. That's harder and more honest than either complaining or forcing yourself to smile about it.