I actually study boxing - my dad was a Golden Gloves champion so I learned how to fight at a very young age. Growing up in Brooklyn you always had to watch your back, so I pretty much learned to protect myself.

Survival lessons we didn't choose

There's something revealing about how we inherit protective instincts from our parents, not always through direct instruction but through osmosis. When you grow up around someone who knows how to survive—whether that's literal boxing or navigating a tough neighborhood—you absorb their wariness. You learn that being prepared isn't paranoia; it's practical. Lana Parrilla's comment captures something deeper than just learning to throw a punch: it's about how our environments shape us into versions of ourselves equipped to handle what's coming.

What's interesting is that this kind of resilience often gets romanticized or pathologized depending on who's talking about it. But the reality is messier. Growing up defensive—whether emotionally or physically—teaches you to read a room, to stay alert, to not be blindsided. Those skills transfer everywhere. The catch is that hypervigilance built for survival can become a habit that lingers even when the threat has changed. You keep watching your back even in safe spaces, sometimes long after you need to.

The real insight isn't about toughness. It's that we don't choose the neighborhoods or families we're born into, and those early lessons—learned without opting in—become part of how we move through the world. Understanding where your defensiveness comes from is the first step to deciding which protective instincts still serve you and which ones have simply become old patterns.