Independence is a heady draught, and if you drink it in your youth, it can have the same effect on the brain a... — Hilary Mantel

Independence is a heady draught, and if you drink it in your youth, it can have the same effect on the brain as young wine does. It does not matter that its taste is not always appealing. It is addictive and with each drink you want more.

Author: Hilary Mantel

Insight: There's something oddly intoxicating about making your own calls early in life—and Mantel captures why that feeling can become almost impossible to shake. That first time you realize nobody can actually stop you from doing something, or that you're finally calling the shots instead of following someone else's script, it rewires something in your brain. It doesn't even have to taste good. You might make mistakes that sting. But the sheer fact of deciding for yourself becomes magnetic. The tricky part is what happens next. Once you've felt that autonomy, even in small doses, going back to deference or dependence feels like suffocation. You start craving bigger choices, bolder risks. This is partly wonderful—it's what drives people to leave bad situations, start businesses, or chase dreams their families never entertained. But it's also why so many fiercely independent people struggle with collaboration, compromise, or admitting when they need help. Independence isn't neutral; it's a habit-forming substance. The real insight is that this hunger for autonomy doesn't necessarily fade as you get older. If anything, the addiction deepens. You're not just resisting someone else's control anymore—you're defending your right to steer your own ship, which can make you stubborn even when steering alongside someone else might actually get you somewhere better.